I wonder how, i wonder why, I find myself in the middle of self created stupidity now and then. So, to take a break from all the mess that I had created in office/ in life (Details are coming, hold on)... i thought of taking a break. No the situation is not as shitty as it sounds but it is shitty nevertheless. I haven't eaten anything called as food since morning, all i am having is junk just to cheer me up, which is not happening. Y? because I MISSED MY FLIGHT today! ( Yea, i know it's not a big deal, but i have never even missed a train till date, let alone flight damned!) I am stupid. But that is not all, I guess I am building up on mess in my life, since mid of july.
Here are the updates as of now,
a. I was supposedly a "lakhpatti" at the starting of this month, now all that is left in my account is "wanna hea ran" (This is auto-encrypted amount which is left in my bank as of now. Auto-encryption, woah, This is cool shit.) See, spending money is Okay. Isn't that why we all earn in the first place. But it becomes dreadful when you don't even know where it all went? I am stUpid.
b. I am treating my friends like shit. I don't even deserve such nice people in my life anyways. Or whatever is left of them as of now. Sigh. I don't think they are interested in talking to me any more. I deserve it it because I know i have screwed up things really bad. Thank you God for giving me nice friends but those are nice people, make me a little bit caring no. Just for their sake? I am stUpid.
c. My bad boss is behaving good, too sweet actually. One thing which is totally wrong with me is, I can handle difficult stuff, what I can't handle is sweetness. It scares me. Goodness in people is really fragile and i keep fearing what if i break it? And in my nervousness, i usually manage to break the same. doh! I am stUpid.
d. I think i have tonsils. And I guess, i should die. Earth have a right to breathe easy ain't it? I don't have time to go Doctor. i don't have time to go for my scooty's registration (BTW I bought my first ever vehicle, Wishes accepted
:p, but being me means all good things goes for a toss. On all the supposedly happy/big days of my life makes me sad because of no reason and I cry.) I am stUpid!
e. It is my mom's B'day, and except a silly b'day wish, I haven't done anything for her. Though I did manage to make her stop talking to me due to this stupid trip. I take my parents too much for granted. My theory goes like, after all they are my parents, they don't have much option. Yea, i am a bitch. I need to work on myself. I should join Osho. My only chance to dedicate myself to sinful Nirvana. Again myself, why can't i think about any one else? I am stUpid!
f. O yea, about shit in personal life. I am telling you, read MB's, dream about romantic love stories, love all the exotic men you can think about, but please, for heaven's sake, DON'T FALL IN LOVE. Especially if you are a girl, stop thinking about it right now. I mean, Love is crazy ok, being a girl you have these many plans about your perfect love story, but when it actually happens, a lot of silly questions start popping into your head, like Is it the right thing to do? Is it happening too fast? Am i doing the right thing? I want it to happen, but what if it is not right? Yuck, I was happy single, checking out every other guy, now i don't think about anything else. This is scary. And i guess this is the main reason that my stupidity level has been increased by leaps and bounds. Most irritating are such stupid questions like, if i do this will i give him the wrong hint. if i don't do this i might him. AAAAAAAAAGGGRRRHHHH I AM STuPID!
I guess the best thing to do right now is to opt for "solitary confinement". Switch off my cell phone. Stay away from Social Networks. All I need right now is a strong dose of Nora Roberts! I am quitting my life, I'll live like "Puns" for next one month. Sleep at 10, get up at 5:30 and do meditation. Kill me no.
P.S. The Score as of now is Universe 2, Any 0. How do i add silly tragic sound here.. I am stUpid! ( No, I am not endorsing for Diesel)