And then there are times when you have an agenda on your mind, Things to be discussed which can change the course of your life, Decision to be made which will decide whether your name will be part of history or not. You know it is important, you know it can make or break you. You know this is to be discussed in depth and detail, you need to plan intelligently and execute it with finesse. You call up that one person who will act as your adviser, the king maker and then he tells you " I'll call you in some time, I m having a bad tooth ache. Thak"
Grrr... Yea everyone has a storm in their Tea cup. World is not about just one person. Yes, I am telling you world is not about you, because it is not about me either. sh!t!
I having this little trouble in office, they say when in playground you should not mess with the big boys but I guess I did the same. I stepped on my bosses foot, too many times and this time a little too hard. Why would I do that?
1. I don't like bullies
2. I work (duh)
3. I messed up (Jezz, Isn't it obvious)
So, now I am in a bad situation and he is taking all advantage of his position. And in nub's terminology, in an organization, one who earns more is always right. (ouch!)
Yes, he is my boss that gives him authority by the virtue of his position, but i sat down and did a research (basically observed and conclude, I am too lazy to do an actual, hardcore research). I found out that he gets authority because of following reasons:
1. He keeps making fun of people. For sure people also laugh at him behind his back but he keep insulting people in front of everyone. And obviously if one doesn't want to be laughed at publicly, laughing with him makes more sense.
2. Currently he is the senior most person in the company, so nobody can do much any way right.
3. He KNOWS stuff. Yes, you also face problem when your boss is not an idiot.( What do one do in such a situation #iwonder)
What was it that i did??
Well he was playing it smart with me, I played his trick back at him. And yea, nobody wants that they should be pointed out when they are at fault. So now I am that spoilt brat who should be taught a lesson.
Now what choice do i have?
1. Play it cool, normalize things and pretend it never happened. (As always, but somehow I don't think it will work this time)
2. Safeguard my position internally, make internal friends. This can be done, but all i have internally are weaklings. They can easily get influenced by power.
3.I should start playing politics with him. I always wanted to be a politician, all I need to do is horn my skills a bit. Though no doubts that he is a better politician than I but if nothing else I'll get lock horns will someone worthy. (lol, over confident)
If it were a comic book then i would have sketched myself as a brave female in salwaar-kammez who is holding her pen as sword and have revenge in her eyes. (But trust me as it would be a comic book next scene would have been my boss hitting me with a small piece of stone and laughing away to glory with his goons)
(The weapon to achieve anything is discipline, Does anyone knows any self help book on discipline??? )
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Who will be a Millionaire? - "Kaun Banega Crorepati?"
Making money is easy, trust me. All you have to do is make up your mind about it. Today I stumble upon a list of young entrepreneurs who starting owning a 1 million $ company before turning 21. I showed the link to "nub" and told him, this is something I want to do. And he says, everyone wants to do something like this. Yes, everyone wants to do something like this, but I'll do it. I knew blogging / internet has brought a complete revolution with itself. I read about Dooce.com and I got super kicked about it. Naah, I am not after money... all i want is that adrenaline rush which each of these young-rich people enjoy everyday. "nub" says you are only as good as you think you are. And if that's true... then I know.. am pretty good. There is a guy in my office "rpa". He has recently started his own blog. He is super kicked about technology and he has started a Mashable kind of blog. Generally he doesn't have much work in office but after this blog, he certainly have find a "nirvana" for himself. He is happy, even through there are no readers on his blog yet, but I know he is gonna make a difference nevertheless.
I always had a theory, that I would write only for myself, but inside I know, I used to get this mental kick about writing when "aur" used to tell me that he has read my recent blog. And how egarly he used to wait for each of them. I know he had his own mean reasons for waiting though. He wanted to know what I feel about him and he knew I am penning it down somewhere. Every time I used to tell him that I wrote a blog, he would definitely used to tell himself that may be this blog is about him. But no i don't do predictable things. i don't do then in sync either. You might say, this is the reason that i haven't made big in life yet, I loose focus, but then, Chaos is my USP!! :)
Even now the most logical blog entry would have been about my love story (Yes, that is where i was busy for all these days and didn't write anything) but I guess I am more of wild kind than mushy. "I would rather wait a little longer to make the longing stronger"
Trust me these are signs, yes, I do remain kicked about random stuff pretty often... but when something is about to happen in my life, there is always a unconscious build up to it. Like how I started "The Hyderabad Blues" without knowing that it might actually become the story of "How a single girl in a unknown city, got lucky, got wild"!
I always had a theory, that I would write only for myself, but inside I know, I used to get this mental kick about writing when "aur" used to tell me that he has read my recent blog. And how egarly he used to wait for each of them. I know he had his own mean reasons for waiting though. He wanted to know what I feel about him and he knew I am penning it down somewhere. Every time I used to tell him that I wrote a blog, he would definitely used to tell himself that may be this blog is about him. But no i don't do predictable things. i don't do then in sync either. You might say, this is the reason that i haven't made big in life yet, I loose focus, but then, Chaos is my USP!! :)
Even now the most logical blog entry would have been about my love story (Yes, that is where i was busy for all these days and didn't write anything) but I guess I am more of wild kind than mushy. "I would rather wait a little longer to make the longing stronger"
Trust me these are signs, yes, I do remain kicked about random stuff pretty often... but when something is about to happen in my life, there is always a unconscious build up to it. Like how I started "The Hyderabad Blues" without knowing that it might actually become the story of "How a single girl in a unknown city, got lucky, got wild"!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Big God, Small God
I am writing a post after 48 days. This is not exactly what i had planned for Hyderabad. I thought, I am coming to a new city, and as of now I almost done with my education, therefore I can actually spend my time in doing things which I planned to do. This happened because I miscalculated the proceedings of my life. I planned my life keeping in myself in mind. But some time in the middle of my excursion called life, I fell in love. DAMN!!
I won't lie, since the very first post of this blog I was hinting towards a love life. A single girl in a big city is almost a myth. A the status of a girl being single means either
1. She is just out of a relation
2. Or something is brewing just round the corner.
So the status of "single" is never applicable on a girl. Social Networks can easily restrict it to "It's Complicated" and can save some memory space for themselves on cloud :P
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Bade Ganpati, Chote Ganpati
"Aur" said I always write a post about myself. It's always Me, me, ME... so he wanted me to write a blog where I am no where int he picture, there is just my lingering thoughts. I don't think I am even trying to do that, and if I am, then I am failing miserably at it.
"Ganpati Puja" is a big occasion in Hyderabad. "Aur" told me once while we were crossing Khairatabad cross-section that, it's Hyderabad not Mumbai where you'll find the biggest Ganpati in India. Since that time I was pretty curious about all the Ho-Hallah related to Ganpati Puja here.
(I don't think i'll ever finish it, and because of which it might always stay in drafts, so I am posting it incomplete)
But I do want to mention one incident because of which I wanted to write this post at the first place. "Aur" took me Khairatabad to show me the largest Ganpati of Hyderabad. The place was crazy. The usual Indian mela where everyone was to see the power idol. The idol was really huge, so much so that it took three people just to have the garland around it. Obviously even the mala was huge.
The place was grand.
There was traffic all over. The whole street was shining with celebration. Midst this all there was a couple who was sleeping right in the middle of the foot path of the busiest street of Hyderabad at that time. There was chaos, people were honking like crazy, everyone wanted their share of blessing but that couple was unaware of all the mess that was surrounding them. They somehow knew world is going to remain same even the next, with or with out the blessings, they were just celebrating their peaceful sleep for this while.
Where a big God was handling the mess that he had created, there was small god who was watching over the two innocent souls while the whole world was moving without giving a damn about them.
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This blog was in draft for a while now. So today, just out of curiosity I visited Amitabh Bacchan's blog. There I found that he has been writing regularly on his blog for past 3 years now. And I was amazed. A man of such high reputation along with his ailments as well as busy daily schedule is able to write down for himself and for people who loves him, the daily details and nitty-gritty of his life. I, on the other hand, who always wanted to document every moment of my life, is not able to give to herself? And the best part being, you can always give excuses to others but you can never give an excuse to yourself because inside you now, you are trying to fool yourself. Some days ago, "Aur" asked me, am i writing anything about our story? And I said "no". Damn, the best moments of my life are happening right now, If I would tried then I could have written every feeling of mine in detail. but somehow as usual I conveniently let the flow my life to guide. Not any more!! (Not any more - is becoming a too casual a cliche for me- am scared1)
I won't lie, since the very first post of this blog I was hinting towards a love life. A single girl in a big city is almost a myth. A the status of a girl being single means either
1. She is just out of a relation
2. Or something is brewing just round the corner.
So the status of "single" is never applicable on a girl. Social Networks can easily restrict it to "It's Complicated" and can save some memory space for themselves on cloud :P
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Bade Ganpati, Chote Ganpati
"Aur" said I always write a post about myself. It's always Me, me, ME... so he wanted me to write a blog where I am no where int he picture, there is just my lingering thoughts. I don't think I am even trying to do that, and if I am, then I am failing miserably at it.
"Ganpati Puja" is a big occasion in Hyderabad. "Aur" told me once while we were crossing Khairatabad cross-section that, it's Hyderabad not Mumbai where you'll find the biggest Ganpati in India. Since that time I was pretty curious about all the Ho-Hallah related to Ganpati Puja here.
(I don't think i'll ever finish it, and because of which it might always stay in drafts, so I am posting it incomplete)
But I do want to mention one incident because of which I wanted to write this post at the first place. "Aur" took me Khairatabad to show me the largest Ganpati of Hyderabad. The place was crazy. The usual Indian mela where everyone was to see the power idol. The idol was really huge, so much so that it took three people just to have the garland around it. Obviously even the mala was huge.
The place was grand.
There was traffic all over. The whole street was shining with celebration. Midst this all there was a couple who was sleeping right in the middle of the foot path of the busiest street of Hyderabad at that time. There was chaos, people were honking like crazy, everyone wanted their share of blessing but that couple was unaware of all the mess that was surrounding them. They somehow knew world is going to remain same even the next, with or with out the blessings, they were just celebrating their peaceful sleep for this while.
Where a big God was handling the mess that he had created, there was small god who was watching over the two innocent souls while the whole world was moving without giving a damn about them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This blog was in draft for a while now. So today, just out of curiosity I visited Amitabh Bacchan's blog. There I found that he has been writing regularly on his blog for past 3 years now. And I was amazed. A man of such high reputation along with his ailments as well as busy daily schedule is able to write down for himself and for people who loves him, the daily details and nitty-gritty of his life. I, on the other hand, who always wanted to document every moment of my life, is not able to give to herself? And the best part being, you can always give excuses to others but you can never give an excuse to yourself because inside you now, you are trying to fool yourself. Some days ago, "Aur" asked me, am i writing anything about our story? And I said "no". Damn, the best moments of my life are happening right now, If I would tried then I could have written every feeling of mine in detail. but somehow as usual I conveniently let the flow my life to guide. Not any more!! (Not any more - is becoming a too casual a cliche for me- am scared1)
Monday, August 1, 2011
At all the wrong places!
I wonder how, i wonder why, I find myself in the middle of self created stupidity now and then. So, to take a break from all the mess that I had created in office/ in life (Details are coming, hold on)... i thought of taking a break. No the situation is not as shitty as it sounds but it is shitty nevertheless. I haven't eaten anything called as food since morning, all i am having is junk just to cheer me up, which is not happening. Y? because I MISSED MY FLIGHT today! ( Yea, i know it's not a big deal, but i have never even missed a train till date, let alone flight damned!) I am stupid. But that is not all, I guess I am building up on mess in my life, since mid of july.
Here are the updates as of now,
a. I was supposedly a "lakhpatti" at the starting of this month, now all that is left in my account is "wanna hea ran" (This is auto-encrypted amount which is left in my bank as of now. Auto-encryption, woah, This is cool shit.) See, spending money is Okay. Isn't that why we all earn in the first place. But it becomes dreadful when you don't even know where it all went? I am stUpid.
b. I am treating my friends like shit. I don't even deserve such nice people in my life anyways. Or whatever is left of them as of now. Sigh. I don't think they are interested in talking to me any more. I deserve it it because I know i have screwed up things really bad. Thank you God for giving me nice friends but those are nice people, make me a little bit caring no. Just for their sake? I am stUpid.
c. My bad boss is behaving good, too sweet actually. One thing which is totally wrong with me is, I can handle difficult stuff, what I can't handle is sweetness. It scares me. Goodness in people is really fragile and i keep fearing what if i break it? And in my nervousness, i usually manage to break the same. doh! I am stUpid.
d. I think i have tonsils. And I guess, i should die. Earth have a right to breathe easy ain't it? I don't have time to go Doctor. i don't have time to go for my scooty's registration (BTW I bought my first ever vehicle, Wishes accepted
:p, but being me means all good things goes for a toss. On all the supposedly happy/big days of my life makes me sad because of no reason and I cry.) I am stUpid!
e. It is my mom's B'day, and except a silly b'day wish, I haven't done anything for her. Though I did manage to make her stop talking to me due to this stupid trip. I take my parents too much for granted. My theory goes like, after all they are my parents, they don't have much option. Yea, i am a bitch. I need to work on myself. I should join Osho. My only chance to dedicate myself to sinful Nirvana. Again myself, why can't i think about any one else? I am stUpid!
f. O yea, about shit in personal life. I am telling you, read MB's, dream about romantic love stories, love all the exotic men you can think about, but please, for heaven's sake, DON'T FALL IN LOVE. Especially if you are a girl, stop thinking about it right now. I mean, Love is crazy ok, being a girl you have these many plans about your perfect love story, but when it actually happens, a lot of silly questions start popping into your head, like Is it the right thing to do? Is it happening too fast? Am i doing the right thing? I want it to happen, but what if it is not right? Yuck, I was happy single, checking out every other guy, now i don't think about anything else. This is scary. And i guess this is the main reason that my stupidity level has been increased by leaps and bounds. Most irritating are such stupid questions like, if i do this will i give him the wrong hint. if i don't do this i might him. AAAAAAAAAGGGRRRHHHH I AM STuPID!
I guess the best thing to do right now is to opt for "solitary confinement". Switch off my cell phone. Stay away from Social Networks. All I need right now is a strong dose of Nora Roberts! I am quitting my life, I'll live like "Puns" for next one month. Sleep at 10, get up at 5:30 and do meditation. Kill me no.
P.S. The Score as of now is Universe 2, Any 0. How do i add silly tragic sound here.. I am stUpid! ( No, I am not endorsing for Diesel)
Here are the updates as of now,
a. I was supposedly a "lakhpatti" at the starting of this month, now all that is left in my account is "wanna hea ran" (This is auto-encrypted amount which is left in my bank as of now. Auto-encryption, woah, This is cool shit.) See, spending money is Okay. Isn't that why we all earn in the first place. But it becomes dreadful when you don't even know where it all went? I am stUpid.
b. I am treating my friends like shit. I don't even deserve such nice people in my life anyways. Or whatever is left of them as of now. Sigh. I don't think they are interested in talking to me any more. I deserve it it because I know i have screwed up things really bad. Thank you God for giving me nice friends but those are nice people, make me a little bit caring no. Just for their sake? I am stUpid.
c. My bad boss is behaving good, too sweet actually. One thing which is totally wrong with me is, I can handle difficult stuff, what I can't handle is sweetness. It scares me. Goodness in people is really fragile and i keep fearing what if i break it? And in my nervousness, i usually manage to break the same. doh! I am stUpid.
d. I think i have tonsils. And I guess, i should die. Earth have a right to breathe easy ain't it? I don't have time to go Doctor. i don't have time to go for my scooty's registration (BTW I bought my first ever vehicle, Wishes accepted
:p, but being me means all good things goes for a toss. On all the supposedly happy/big days of my life makes me sad because of no reason and I cry.) I am stUpid!
e. It is my mom's B'day, and except a silly b'day wish, I haven't done anything for her. Though I did manage to make her stop talking to me due to this stupid trip. I take my parents too much for granted. My theory goes like, after all they are my parents, they don't have much option. Yea, i am a bitch. I need to work on myself. I should join Osho. My only chance to dedicate myself to sinful Nirvana. Again myself, why can't i think about any one else? I am stUpid!
f. O yea, about shit in personal life. I am telling you, read MB's, dream about romantic love stories, love all the exotic men you can think about, but please, for heaven's sake, DON'T FALL IN LOVE. Especially if you are a girl, stop thinking about it right now. I mean, Love is crazy ok, being a girl you have these many plans about your perfect love story, but when it actually happens, a lot of silly questions start popping into your head, like Is it the right thing to do? Is it happening too fast? Am i doing the right thing? I want it to happen, but what if it is not right? Yuck, I was happy single, checking out every other guy, now i don't think about anything else. This is scary. And i guess this is the main reason that my stupidity level has been increased by leaps and bounds. Most irritating are such stupid questions like, if i do this will i give him the wrong hint. if i don't do this i might him. AAAAAAAAAGGGRRRHHHH I AM STuPID!
I guess the best thing to do right now is to opt for "solitary confinement". Switch off my cell phone. Stay away from Social Networks. All I need right now is a strong dose of Nora Roberts! I am quitting my life, I'll live like "Puns" for next one month. Sleep at 10, get up at 5:30 and do meditation. Kill me no.
P.S. The Score as of now is Universe 2, Any 0. How do i add silly tragic sound here.. I am stUpid! ( No, I am not endorsing for Diesel)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sh!t happens... :|
One mistake... and it changes everything. Mistake, is not a new word in my dictionary. it happens, again and again, without fail my case. Don't I try to learn from my mistakes? Well, i let my mistakes sink in, they make you stronger don't they? Well if you would have been following my other blogs, by now you must have known, how big a whiner I am. but this time seriously screwed up! So, all this while, I was this super cool girl who can make anything happen. Then as usual, I started to relax. trust me, this is the worst word to apply in your work life. So, my new motto is, "Never RELAX between 9 am and 5:30 pm". Trust me, it is fatal for your life.
The worst of being in a actual mess is... As it is only your mess, so nobody really understands how bad you have been hurt. You play it cool in front of them and they think, Sh!t happens and she is fine. It was stupid you know I was talking to people, as usual bragging about the new shit which has happened in my life and while they were laughing at it and changing conversation to a lighter topic, on the other side of the phone, a tear was rolling down my cheeks. I was happier when i used to keep things to myself. This habit of sharing things with others is taking toll on me.
Hush, Hyderabad, they say, it's always Quid Pro Quo, After making me the perfect girl, this city is now taxing me for my happiness. Don't worry sweetheart, I am a bad looser, and it's not easy not to fall in love with me. Hyderabad 2, Any 1
The worst of being in a actual mess is... As it is only your mess, so nobody really understands how bad you have been hurt. You play it cool in front of them and they think, Sh!t happens and she is fine. It was stupid you know I was talking to people, as usual bragging about the new shit which has happened in my life and while they were laughing at it and changing conversation to a lighter topic, on the other side of the phone, a tear was rolling down my cheeks. I was happier when i used to keep things to myself. This habit of sharing things with others is taking toll on me.
Hush, Hyderabad, they say, it's always Quid Pro Quo, After making me the perfect girl, this city is now taxing me for my happiness. Don't worry sweetheart, I am a bad looser, and it's not easy not to fall in love with me. Hyderabad 2, Any 1
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Poem without words
I have been planning to blog since a very long time now, but i guess in my case, it is always a Bad day which makes me slow down a bit and chew on the fast paced otherwise exciting life I am living. So, the question arises, is my life exciting? is it really fast paced? eh.. well it is not, but it is fast enough to make a lazy bum like me to run to catch up with it. So, you would ask what happened this time, to fill you in, there was a post in between these which I had written on How my fairy like sitcom at home is just a soap bubble. It was so depressing that I just couldn't put it on this blog, where I am a perfect girl and nothing sad can as much as even touch me. So, I posted it on my private blog. O yes, i have too many blog, for even me to remember them all.
Why do I keep these many blog?
I consider myself as chaos, which has no direction and all directions at the same time. Like how this particular post was going to be about what I did so far and Why is it one of the bad days, but instead, i opted a completely different track altogether. It is so difficult for me to just stick to one track. And to think about it, this is what makes me special, ( yea, I keep praising myself on my own, it's better than expecting other to do so, and it works, in case you are wondering).
So, I guess, lets go step by step from here on. There is so much to talk about.
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The first salary promise
The other day "aur" asked me, if i have written any thing about my first salary on the blog. N i was like, I haven't. Well, my first salary was again something for which i had done a lot of planning. When i was in engineering, i had planned to save half of my salary every month. I had always planned to buy something special for mum-dad-bhai. During the first month of job, i used to make lists on sticky notes, of things that i want to buy from my first salary. But i didn't do any of those. Instead I did something which was the part of my perfect dream, every girl's perfect dream. I invaded a mall and bought anything and everything that i could get my hands on. I went totally crazy. I am always guilty after shopping, but not this one time. I was this crazy child, who now had all the balloons from the balloon guy and she was running all over the place while holding the strings of those high rising helium balloons of all possible colors, really close to her heart. Thank you, who so ever you are, who is taking care of me. Thank you so much.
Though there are few things, i still have to do, like buy my mum anything she keeps a finger on. and buy all kinds of gadgets for my brother. But i never get to decide what should I gift my dad... he is one person who says, just my smile is enough for him, n means it...
But there are still several things which I wanted to do, and I did... like i had promised to by a Krishna's idol, and I did. I wanted to give a rs. 500 note to someone needy, and i did. That day was one when I was not a coward, if only for a day. And then, when i was a kid, I so loved those people who used to bring chocolates for me, and I had promised myself to add these little chocolate treats to the life of people I know/ don't know. So, you might find me treating an autowala (the kind i used to curse before) with a Pan or an Ice-cream. Have I changed? No, I am doing so, because now i can. And this is for a girl in Pune, who taught me how to be good to people, I hope even i had taught her something, I hope even she remembers me.
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People who read this blog
Well as i said, I wanted it to be a secret blog, where you could read the story of an unknown girl in an unknown city, just like a story, only this time she is for real. Like how when u read a story then you so want to meet those characters. i wanted the same thing here, but then, as usual i gave link of this blog to 'aur' and 'nub' and 'nub' gave it further to 'ani'. 'ani' says my blogs are happy blogs... i don't know if they are so, all i know is, these are my footprints in time and one day i know some one will track them back. I always wanted to leave clues for someone, to look for a treasure. It's only in this moment i realized that, my life is the treasure and clues for the same are all over my country.. the internet. Catch me if you can!
So, I was thinking that as now, people who know me are reading my blog, so will the things that i want to say, change in any way? I have written plenty and I don't think so... though now the strings are in my hand. Like how i can make them look for themselves in one of these posts. Give them a hidden treasure once and then give them rocks the next time. I am a b!tch. But then... I am one! ;)
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List of things to do (before i get 28)
I have no clue why most of the people go for a Things to do before they die list.. i mean, these are the last moment things I might do in case I get to know that i am dying. I mean, why we wanna wait until the time we are actually dying to do all that we love to do. Why don't we do it, while we are living. Some time sooner, like today?
Recently a friend of mine 'pas' came over to Hyderabad, to meet me. The day when we two were sitting in F lounge and having a chat over Glen Fiditch at like 11 in the night, I felt as if i was living my dream. Like how i am independent and can go out with friends at late at night, can order anything and everything I want without counting the coins in my pockets. it was again a social night, where you are having food with drinks like sophisticated people do unlike Drink-to-get-drunk parties that we so long to have - but never had in our teens. I guess I missed the phase where i would have gone clubbing, wearing those short party dresses and would have flirt with someone on the bar, just for the heck of it. I have missed that growing up phase of mine, we'll talk about it in next section. So, the night 'pas' was here, spent all night watching a movie, listening to music, having long conversations over a cup of coffee at 3 am in the awesome balcony and during the course of the same, we created this "things to do before she dies list". Most of it is "pas", and I am there in bits and pieces. but I completely loved the list. The tittle says "She" because it is the list of a girl which every girl wants to be at least once. Yea, it's very Corney but I'll post the list here anyways.
I always had certain things in my head which i wanted to do once i get older, and now i think i am old enough and I should already start doing all these things. A small peek into the list of things that "any" wants to do goes like--
a. To start a blog with secret identity which get famous.
b. To start a cafe of her own.
c. To start a firm which deals into innovative gifts.
d. To write my auto-biography
e. To release a song of my own
f. To roam around the world clicking pictures, meeting new people, learning their culture, their language, their history.
g. To do the marketing for "ard"'s plan and make it happen
h. To start "dial-a-chef" with "pas"
i. To own an island with "pas' at the age of 28 and spend a month there just lazying on a hammock.
And I want all of it to HAPPEN!
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The sitcom fairy tale
I have a bad habit (duh, i know i got several of them, but this is important), when ever i start feeling comfortable with someone, i start behaving like a kid and start showing tantrums. I take them for granted and abuse their love and care for me. And most of the times I end up pissing and losing the ones whom I actually love. Coz they fail to see it that I can do so, coz i love them so much. I love to hurt, coz then i'll know, if you can take my hurt, you can handle my love. My love hurts and it hurts me the most. So, here it is what happened this time... remember that "secret depressing post" that i was talking about in the beginning? Yea, so this flatmate of mine "hri" who is kinda sweet and with whom everyone wants to be friends with. We got along really well, atleast I thought so. but then last night i managed to piss her off. All i did was, drop a little water on her (and her laptop). And she told me to "grow up". This is one of my most hated comments. When i was a kid, i hated it when people asked me to "Behave myself". I know i am causing inconvenience to them but I am doing so, because I think I love them enough to trouble them. I know, i am unrealistic, crappy, troublesome, childish, immature self, but i want to be this way. i don't want to grow up. Why can't you accept me as i am, why i have to grow up for you to like me?
I know it's not a big deal, i know it won't last long... but we haven't talked abhi tak, and she have already asked me to grow up.
You know what was the biggest shock of my life? Well it was when I turned 22 and i realized am not a kid any more... You know how hard it was for me? Those wonderland which were only mine, I am not allowed to visit them any more. Peter stopped talking to me, because he says I am not the same person anymore... I am like them. Does being responsible means i should laugh less because that's doesn't suits a lady. Stop dreaming, because life is not easy. i am sorry, i am not doing that, even though i love you and I might lose you. Take me or leave me.
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The corporate culture
To make this blog more organized, i had written tittles of things i want to write in this blog. But right i now, totally can't say what i wanted to write under this one. Was it something about, how everything is going good with my work, or what it about how close I am to become Icarus by flying too high that I might burn my features soon. Or may be it was about, how a little mis-communication on my part leaded to a strom in a teacup. I was always like, personal and professional relationships are always one. You can not keep them separate. i wanted to put the same theory into practice, but it is not working for me as of now. Chuck it!
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Bad boss in a cape
If you got the hang of tittle, then i'll let you know, you got it right! So, this fight I was talking about which i managed to start in the office, well one good thing came out of it. Well, it was my fault (nothing serious, i could have managed) and this bad boss of mine got hold of this superhero cape from somewhere and stood in front of me to take all the heat (though un-required but it was a sweet gesture). i was happily surprised. So, has my bad boss gone good? Well no as Aamir Khan says, "perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai". and in my words "After everything, he still remains my boss right? and it gives me all the rights to treat him like one" :P. Then he took all of us to coffee today, nah not coffee day, just pass wala thela, but he made an effort none-the-less. So, do i smell change in the air? umm... not yet ;)
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The Cheer-me-up-Pizza-Date
So, after a bad day, i thought of cheering myself up. So, i called up "nub" and fixed a pizza date. He in Lucknow and I in Hyderabad. At 7 he started from his place and i from my office. i reached this pizza place in Hyderabad, where I waited by talking to "amr" on phone while he reaches the pizza place in Lucknow. We ordered our drinks, and same pizza and all this time for like 1.5 hours both of us were on phone, having a conversation, like we always do over food. we had an amazing pizza dinner together and then we left for our homes in our respective cities. It was super fun. i know it's crazy, but that is me.
it's 2.30 am... I should sleep now... i hope it would be normal between "hri" n I till my next post.
till then enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUihvrtASK0
Why do I keep these many blog?
I consider myself as chaos, which has no direction and all directions at the same time. Like how this particular post was going to be about what I did so far and Why is it one of the bad days, but instead, i opted a completely different track altogether. It is so difficult for me to just stick to one track. And to think about it, this is what makes me special, ( yea, I keep praising myself on my own, it's better than expecting other to do so, and it works, in case you are wondering).
So, I guess, lets go step by step from here on. There is so much to talk about.
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The first salary promise
The other day "aur" asked me, if i have written any thing about my first salary on the blog. N i was like, I haven't. Well, my first salary was again something for which i had done a lot of planning. When i was in engineering, i had planned to save half of my salary every month. I had always planned to buy something special for mum-dad-bhai. During the first month of job, i used to make lists on sticky notes, of things that i want to buy from my first salary. But i didn't do any of those. Instead I did something which was the part of my perfect dream, every girl's perfect dream. I invaded a mall and bought anything and everything that i could get my hands on. I went totally crazy. I am always guilty after shopping, but not this one time. I was this crazy child, who now had all the balloons from the balloon guy and she was running all over the place while holding the strings of those high rising helium balloons of all possible colors, really close to her heart. Thank you, who so ever you are, who is taking care of me. Thank you so much.
Though there are few things, i still have to do, like buy my mum anything she keeps a finger on. and buy all kinds of gadgets for my brother. But i never get to decide what should I gift my dad... he is one person who says, just my smile is enough for him, n means it...
But there are still several things which I wanted to do, and I did... like i had promised to by a Krishna's idol, and I did. I wanted to give a rs. 500 note to someone needy, and i did. That day was one when I was not a coward, if only for a day. And then, when i was a kid, I so loved those people who used to bring chocolates for me, and I had promised myself to add these little chocolate treats to the life of people I know/ don't know. So, you might find me treating an autowala (the kind i used to curse before) with a Pan or an Ice-cream. Have I changed? No, I am doing so, because now i can. And this is for a girl in Pune, who taught me how to be good to people, I hope even i had taught her something, I hope even she remembers me.
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People who read this blog
Well as i said, I wanted it to be a secret blog, where you could read the story of an unknown girl in an unknown city, just like a story, only this time she is for real. Like how when u read a story then you so want to meet those characters. i wanted the same thing here, but then, as usual i gave link of this blog to 'aur' and 'nub' and 'nub' gave it further to 'ani'. 'ani' says my blogs are happy blogs... i don't know if they are so, all i know is, these are my footprints in time and one day i know some one will track them back. I always wanted to leave clues for someone, to look for a treasure. It's only in this moment i realized that, my life is the treasure and clues for the same are all over my country.. the internet. Catch me if you can!
So, I was thinking that as now, people who know me are reading my blog, so will the things that i want to say, change in any way? I have written plenty and I don't think so... though now the strings are in my hand. Like how i can make them look for themselves in one of these posts. Give them a hidden treasure once and then give them rocks the next time. I am a b!tch. But then... I am one! ;)
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List of things to do (before i get 28)
I have no clue why most of the people go for a Things to do before they die list.. i mean, these are the last moment things I might do in case I get to know that i am dying. I mean, why we wanna wait until the time we are actually dying to do all that we love to do. Why don't we do it, while we are living. Some time sooner, like today?
Recently a friend of mine 'pas' came over to Hyderabad, to meet me. The day when we two were sitting in F lounge and having a chat over Glen Fiditch at like 11 in the night, I felt as if i was living my dream. Like how i am independent and can go out with friends at late at night, can order anything and everything I want without counting the coins in my pockets. it was again a social night, where you are having food with drinks like sophisticated people do unlike Drink-to-get-drunk parties that we so long to have - but never had in our teens. I guess I missed the phase where i would have gone clubbing, wearing those short party dresses and would have flirt with someone on the bar, just for the heck of it. I have missed that growing up phase of mine, we'll talk about it in next section. So, the night 'pas' was here, spent all night watching a movie, listening to music, having long conversations over a cup of coffee at 3 am in the awesome balcony and during the course of the same, we created this "things to do before she dies list". Most of it is "pas", and I am there in bits and pieces. but I completely loved the list. The tittle says "She" because it is the list of a girl which every girl wants to be at least once. Yea, it's very Corney but I'll post the list here anyways.
I always had certain things in my head which i wanted to do once i get older, and now i think i am old enough and I should already start doing all these things. A small peek into the list of things that "any" wants to do goes like--
a. To start a blog with secret identity which get famous.
b. To start a cafe of her own.
c. To start a firm which deals into innovative gifts.
d. To write my auto-biography
e. To release a song of my own
f. To roam around the world clicking pictures, meeting new people, learning their culture, their language, their history.
g. To do the marketing for "ard"'s plan and make it happen
h. To start "dial-a-chef" with "pas"
i. To own an island with "pas' at the age of 28 and spend a month there just lazying on a hammock.
And I want all of it to HAPPEN!
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The sitcom fairy tale
I have a bad habit (duh, i know i got several of them, but this is important), when ever i start feeling comfortable with someone, i start behaving like a kid and start showing tantrums. I take them for granted and abuse their love and care for me. And most of the times I end up pissing and losing the ones whom I actually love. Coz they fail to see it that I can do so, coz i love them so much. I love to hurt, coz then i'll know, if you can take my hurt, you can handle my love. My love hurts and it hurts me the most. So, here it is what happened this time... remember that "secret depressing post" that i was talking about in the beginning? Yea, so this flatmate of mine "hri" who is kinda sweet and with whom everyone wants to be friends with. We got along really well, atleast I thought so. but then last night i managed to piss her off. All i did was, drop a little water on her (and her laptop). And she told me to "grow up". This is one of my most hated comments. When i was a kid, i hated it when people asked me to "Behave myself". I know i am causing inconvenience to them but I am doing so, because I think I love them enough to trouble them. I know, i am unrealistic, crappy, troublesome, childish, immature self, but i want to be this way. i don't want to grow up. Why can't you accept me as i am, why i have to grow up for you to like me?
I know it's not a big deal, i know it won't last long... but we haven't talked abhi tak, and she have already asked me to grow up.
You know what was the biggest shock of my life? Well it was when I turned 22 and i realized am not a kid any more... You know how hard it was for me? Those wonderland which were only mine, I am not allowed to visit them any more. Peter stopped talking to me, because he says I am not the same person anymore... I am like them. Does being responsible means i should laugh less because that's doesn't suits a lady. Stop dreaming, because life is not easy. i am sorry, i am not doing that, even though i love you and I might lose you. Take me or leave me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The corporate culture
To make this blog more organized, i had written tittles of things i want to write in this blog. But right i now, totally can't say what i wanted to write under this one. Was it something about, how everything is going good with my work, or what it about how close I am to become Icarus by flying too high that I might burn my features soon. Or may be it was about, how a little mis-communication on my part leaded to a strom in a teacup. I was always like, personal and professional relationships are always one. You can not keep them separate. i wanted to put the same theory into practice, but it is not working for me as of now. Chuck it!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bad boss in a cape
If you got the hang of tittle, then i'll let you know, you got it right! So, this fight I was talking about which i managed to start in the office, well one good thing came out of it. Well, it was my fault (nothing serious, i could have managed) and this bad boss of mine got hold of this superhero cape from somewhere and stood in front of me to take all the heat (though un-required but it was a sweet gesture). i was happily surprised. So, has my bad boss gone good? Well no as Aamir Khan says, "perfection ko improve karna mushkil hota hai". and in my words "After everything, he still remains my boss right? and it gives me all the rights to treat him like one" :P. Then he took all of us to coffee today, nah not coffee day, just pass wala thela, but he made an effort none-the-less. So, do i smell change in the air? umm... not yet
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Cheer-me-up-Pizza-Date
So, after a bad day, i thought of cheering myself up. So, i called up "nub" and fixed a pizza date. He in Lucknow and I in Hyderabad. At 7 he started from his place and i from my office. i reached this pizza place in Hyderabad, where I waited by talking to "amr" on phone while he reaches the pizza place in Lucknow. We ordered our drinks, and same pizza and all this time for like 1.5 hours both of us were on phone, having a conversation, like we always do over food. we had an amazing pizza dinner together and then we left for our homes in our respective cities. It was super fun. i know it's crazy, but that is me.
it's 2.30 am... I should sleep now... i hope it would be normal between "hri" n I till my next post.
till then enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUihvrtASK0
Monday, June 13, 2011
How I met your mother!
You know what; I always wanted to live in one of American sitcoms. Like how Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are such good friends, like they always get together at this favorite coffee shop of theirs without fail, everyday. Like how Ted, Barney and Marshall are so different, yet together they are living such amazing life. All the tragedies become comedies when you are with friends. Before coming to this city, I promised myself that I want to live such a magical life. I guess, with my new roommates here, that magic is happening. Though I give my heart very easily to people but I guess this they won’t hurt me. They say, if you believe in something truly, it happens. And I believe in fairies, I do, I do.
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